Unofficial Medical Dictionary

Artery......................The study of paintings.
Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Darn near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
Tablet......................A small table.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

Gotta give props to Microsoft's Tech Support

The tech support guy I talked to this evening was WONDERFUL. 

I have been having an issue where my Outlook 2007 wasn't saving passwords.  When you have multiple emails addys and passwords, it gets annoying to fill in especially when every password is different.  I filled out a ticket after I couldn't fix it myself.  I entered my cell number on the off chance they would call.  He did.  The first time I didn't answer as it didn't come up with anything, but the number.  I looked the number up and found out it was MS tech support calling from India.  Okay, so I answered the return call.

We used a remote sharing program to work on the problem together. He was very polite and relatively easy to understand.  His t sounds like a b, but that's not a big deal.  He asked if I was having any *other* software issues beyond this one.  That was nice.

He sent an email survey for me to fill out and so I would have his email if any further problems arose. 

Best of all, this was all FREE.  Microsoft isn't all bad :)

Woo Hoo!!! After 3 months MS Office 2007 is finally installed on the laptop

When my desktop mother board died, I moved everything to my laptop. Problem was I couldn't get MS Office 2007 to install. I kept getting a stupid error and nothing on the MS Help site would work. I finally found a website (non-MS) that gave me answer (or location to look to fix the registry key). So tonight I fixed it!!!!!!

I paid a lot of money for the '07 upgrade. I was furious that I couldn't get it to install. Even more furious that Microsoft wanted money to fix the problem. I wasn't giving them another dime!

Now I am happy again with life :)