After spending the last 2½ weeks dealing with seriously and rapidly declining dog, I was feeling pretty forgotten today when she had to be euthanized. I had prayed intensely and almost without ceasing for this dog to not leave me. I don’t ask God for things for myself very often. Don't get me wrong, I pray for myself, but I don't get specific very often, preferring instead to be open to His gifts and leading. I have never been disappointed and frequently stand amazed at the blessings I receive. However, this time I did ask and was quite specific. I prayed hard, I cried, I considered bargaining with God, and I even got angry at times. I don’t know why He said "No." I am sure He has some greater lesson in mind for me. I have to wait upon Him to reveal it.
I don't know about you ladies, but when I am extremely sad, I need chocolate. I wanted a frozen fudge bar, but thought they were all gone. The cost of today's vet trip was unplanned and expensive. Our pocketbook screamed, "OUCH!" I figured I could be a big girl and just ignore my desire for comfort food. I went about my day trying to put the house back in order after the unraveling of the last few days. I put away her stuff and comforted my son. I cried and shared some laughs with those who knew my beloved pet. I cleaned a carpet and even tore apart my Bissell to clean it afterwards. I mentally charted a timetable for some other chores and prepared things for that. Basically, trying to stay busy and not think too much.
A short while ago, I decided to take a quick nap. Sleep has been rare the last 4 days while nursing Smokie. I haven't eaten much either and knew that I had better remedy that first. I went to the freezer to see what I had that could be fixed quickly. What do I find stuck behind the pancake mix? One lone fudge bar that had fallen out of the box. All I could say was "God has not forgotten me." He hasn't. He won't. EVER! It may seem like a simple thing, but simple things DO MATTER to us and to God.
God is good!
*Now off to eat something nutritious before my nap :)